Jake's One!

Ok, everyone says it goes fast. And you hear this and think "yeah, time does go by..." but until you have a baby, you can't possibly know what anybody is talking about. My little bitty baby has grown up. I was talking to our neighbor, Stephanie, who is eight weeks pregnant, and she just had her first ultra sound. And it made me think about my first ultra sound. We called him our little bean. Of course then we couldn't possible have known the joy, pride, elation, angst, and pure terror we would experience over the next year and 7 months! I am sooooo proud of my little bean, who's now in the 97th percentile, so I guess I can't call him my bean anymore. He's just because such a kid. My little infant is gone forever. No...he's on to the toddler years. His personality exposes itself more and more everyday, and I have to say I really like him. I know that sounds stupid. I can just hear it now "oh that's good Joy, you like your kid...duh." But you know that you can really love someone and still find things about them you don't like. Well, I really like Jake. He's gentle, and he loves to smile. He's tough too..he's no cry baby. He likes to be startled and just cracks up over it. And he just has a really sweet spirit about him. Ok, so I'm boo hooing all over the place now! I just can't believe he's changed so much in such a short amount of time. It's such a bitter sweet time; his birthday. Because as happy I am to see all of the changes, I know more changes are to come, and with changes comes independence. I look at my husband and how big he is and think "he's his mom's baby!" She held, rocked, fed, and comforted Brian, just how I do for Jake, and now he's all grown up. He doesn't need her to make things all better when he falls and hurts himself, or is sick, or is just having a yucky day. Well one day, that's going to be Jake. All taller than me, and stronger than me, and not needing me anymore. And that day is coming to fast for my taste! It's just too much to think about. They say to hold on to every moment and enjoy it. Well, that is just soooo true. I love my baby boy, and I can't even begin to describe the happiness, and completness (is that a word?) that he has brought to my life. I have never felt so totally and completely right in what I'm doing. Raising him is the best thing I could have ever hoped to do. Sure, I'm not using my college education, but there is nothing else I would rather do, than spend every waking moment I can with my little boy that is growing up too quickly. I love you Jake. Thanks for being such a wonderful person, and remember that I will always love you and always be here for you, no matter how big you get.